From that day, I followed her everywhere she was going when her parents sent her on errand or when she attended Sunday service especially in the evening. She had a special way of walking that drove me crazy with excitements. According to the ritual of dating those days, once you made a request to a young lady, she would ask you to come back later and for her response. Nike did not say anything. I just took her silence as "yes." During those days a man did not take a young lady out on a date like people do today. We use church events, entertainments and different events outside the church to meet each other. The parents were not supposed to know especially the father of the young lady. Otherwise, the young man would be in great trouble - - - talking about being hit upside the head. So, we had to sneak around. Most of my friends knew, but the parents were completely unaware of the secret dating even though we all went to the same mega church at St. John’s Church Aroloya, Lagos.

When we started high school we both went to different boarding school. I went to Oriwu College in Ikorodu. She went to Apostolic Grammar School, near Lagos. We stayed in contact by exchanging letters. Adenike wrote me so many letters of the first two and a half years I spent in boarding high school. Every letter had the red imprint of her lips on it. The first time I received such a letter from her with a big imprint of her lips, it looked weird. I was a little scared. The lips print was always in red from a red lipstick. When I received more of such letters I got used to it and sometimes started looking forward to it. In 1967, I change school and went to Birch Freeman High School, one of the top high schools in Lagos. It was a Methodist high school created by American missionaries. I was no longer in a boarding school; I was going to school from home. Seeing Nike was easier because without notice as soon as the school was on break she would just appear in our house heading for my room. My mother used to joke with me. Each time I sat in front of the window wondering when my lover was going to visit, my mother would say, "Don’t worry Yinka, once she is out of school, Adenike will make her magic appearance at the house." My mother was right. One day while we were just talking about me seeing Nike, she just appeared carrying a large grocery bag. As soon as my mother saw her, they greeted each other. Adenike headed for my room with the grocery bag. I would close the door to my bedroom so my mother would not be seeing what we were doing. Adenike opened the bag. She had 12 cans of mild, bread, butter cheese, Ovaltine and some cosmetics lotions from her mother’s store. I never asked Adenike to do this. It was her way of expressing her love to me. She did this for years until I left Nigeria for the U.S. in 1972. I did not realize how lucky I was.

The Fiery Romance

Adenike and I started dating when we were both 12 years old. It took three years before we were able to kiss. I remember the first day of that kiss. There was an event in the church and Nike stopped over at our house. Our house was about a block from the church. So, on her way to the church, she stopped over. She was dressed in a beautiful white lace. I held her in my hands put my arms around her and placed my lips on hers. It was such a very good feeling. I have never kissed anybody before in my life. After kissing Nike for the first time, I felt like a real man. I was so, so proud of myself. At that time both Nike and I were both virgins. Kissing her for the first time was so, so sweet. I noticed something unusual during the kissing. She wanted to stick her tongue in my mouth, and it was so weird. I stopped her and removed my lips from hers.

Evidently she was teaching me how to kiss correctly. I was virgin lips and never kissed before. As a teenager, I did not have a clue how to kiss a woman. With subsequent trials Adenike finally taught me how to kiss correctly. But it was still very disgusting. I had just changed high school from being in the boarding school to being a day student. I saw snakes while I was in boarding school. When Nike stick her little tongue in mine, in reminded me of some of the snakes. I was a little excited while kissing her, and a little scared at the same time. I hate snakes, even till today.

As teenagers, Adenike and I fell madly in love with each other and we did not realize it. We did not even realize the intensity of the love until some of Nike’s friends from school started making comments that we needed to slow down. Nike even told me some of her friends told her and said, "Nike, if you and Yinka don’t marry, one of you may die, this love is too intense!" Instead of cooling things off, we fired the romance up without realizing what we were doing. We were about to take it to another level! We spent so much time together, the romantic love was just natural. Adenike was more than my girl friend, we already promised to marry each other no matter what happened. We were childhood friends. We were the best of friends. We were teenage lovers and first time lovers. In hindsight the romantic lover was like a speeding train that was out of control, with no functioning break on it. In reality, I did not believe either of us had the ability to slow this romantic train down. The intensity of the movement was too great and it defiled all common sense because it was so natural. Adenike became the only woman I wanted, and I became the only man she wanted. We were both engulfed in this romantic fire. Anybody who tried to step in between was going to face a great wrath from both of us. From this experience, I believe the expression of a very intensive love can be very dangerous! So, people who knew us and saw what was going on left us alone. They were watching what was happening between two lovebirds who might have completely lost their minds. It was like two souls were stuck together. The romantic love with Adenike felt so, so good. We sneaked to church picnics together. We just followed each other everywhere. My mother was the one who first noticed. When Adenike was in my room, my mother would come inside pretending she was looking for something. I did not realize it then. Evidently, she was being sure we were not getting into some dangerous stuff with the intensity of our romance and the hormones raging like wild fire. One day my mother told me, "Adenike must be madly in love with you!" I responded and asked, "Mom, why did you say that?" My mother explained, "I’m a woman, I can tell when a woman loves a man, the way she was looking at you sitting on your bed, she must be madly in love!"

It is so interesting many people around us could see the intensity of love between Nike and I. Yet, neither of us was able to realize the dangerous zone we were pushing each other as the roller-coaster of our romantic love was running at full speed as if both of us had completely lost our minds. At this time, we were both still virgins. One day I came home from school. I was a few months from being a senior in the high school when my mother told me the bad news. She waited until after I had eaten my dinner and she told me. Evidently, Adenike’s father had discovered that we had been dating. He vehemently objected to our dating. I will explain later. My mother told me her father did not want her to marry me. He was going to give her to another man from Ijebu-Igbo where he came from. That day, I almost had an emotional break down. Nike’s father was about to steal her from me and give her to another man! Then, my mother said I should not worry. She was going to consult with my father, and some of the elders in our family. They were going to speak to Nike’s father. They were to beg him not to follow through with his threat to take Adenike from me. My mother told me the worst thing he could do was to force Nike to get pregnant by this man. "Are you kidding?" I shouted. I almost passed out when I heard such a thing. I have heard about some cultures in history when the husband- -to-be made the father-in-law angry, the father-in-law would either take the daughter and giver her to another man, or offer his wife to another man to sleep with. This is a way to punish the man intending to marry the daughter. I was hoping Adenike’s father would not carry through with his threat. Such an action would be a way to humiliate me. I was not prepared for such a thing.

I started to wonder in my heart, Nike’s father was going to give my wife to somebody else. I felt he was punishing me. What have I done wrong to make him this angry with me? I was thinking. Perhaps the last time I saw him in the church I did not greet him properly. So, the next time I saw him in the church, I would say, "Good morning sir! Good morning sir!" bowing down as I said it, like an idiot. When I ran into him again, the same day, I would say, "Good morning sir!" again. One day, one of the members of our choir said to me. "How many times are you going to greet Mr. Idown? I heard when you greeted him a few minutes ago?" I could not tell this man I was trying to save my wife from being given to another man. It was too embarrassing. The most humiliating experience for a man is for his father-in-law to give his betrothed wife to another man. I was so scared and so terrified. I started to wonder what I would do. I was so troubled that, this young beautiful lady was about to be taken away from me. At that time, I thought I was about to lose my mind.

To demonstrate Nike’s love for me, I remember an incident while at home and Nike and I already decided we were going to marry. I kept getting letters from some teenage girls who wanted me to be their boyfriend. I used to brag to Nike how these young ladies were pursuing me. In one of the situations, there was a lady across the street from our house in Lagos. She used to wave and smile at me. One day, she sent me a letter and asked her sister to deliver that letter. She invited me to be her boyfriend. I knew I was uninterested in this lady and I really did not want to be intimate with her like some young boys would do then. I just told Nike that this young lady was bothering me. When I told her, she told me not to worry that she would take care of her. One day Nike came to our house. She saw the lady standing in the front balcony of her house waving at me. Nike took a chair, went outside and sat in front of our house facing the young lady across the street. She must have given the young lady a dirty look. That’s all it took. As soon as the lady saw Nike and she gave her the look, this young lady across the street ran back into the house. Then, Nike came back inside and said, "She’s gone and she won’t bother you any more. If she bothers you again let me know!" That lady across the street was so angry with me. She never bothered me anymore. Adenike was successful in chasing her away!

Breaking the Cherry

About a week after my mother told me the bad news my heart felt better when Adenike did her appearing magic. She just came to our house. She told me the story of her father trying to give her to another man. She said she told her father, "No! If not Yinka, nobody else!" That incident pulled Nike and I closer together. I did not know what my mother did or what the result of the family intervention was, the process of giving Nike to another man stopped.

However, Nike and I would go to different functions like parties, organization picnics, and other church events. At times we would attend birthday parties together. I remembered one day I was in a party with Nike, her father came to pick her up. As soon as I saw her father, many of the people on the table were looking at me. They knew I was in trouble! Quickly, I got up and ran away while everybody on the table was looking at me in amazement. I felt so much shame. What we have to endure sometimes because of love! I was not going to take any chances. As I was running in the dark, I ran into some people’s outdoor bathroom because I did not know the way to escape. In hindsight, it was a laughable incident. One woman saw me in panic. She knew I was scared. She then asked me what happened. I told her I was hiding from my girlfriend’s father. If he saw me he could kill me. She directed me to a secret door out of the compound where I disappeared into the crowded street in Lagos. I went home. As I was walking home, I was so glad that was a narrow escape. If Nike’s father had grabbed me, he could have torn me into pieces right there before everybody! What a great embarrassment! But, when you are in love with a woman in Nigerian culture, that is part of the price you have to pay!

At this time Nike and I were considering eloping. Some of Nike’s friend told us to just run away together. How could we? These teenagers must be really crazy for such a suggestion. We were both in the high school. I remember I was a couple of months from being a senior in the high school. Nike and I decided we were going to take our relationship to another level. We did not know what could be going on with Adenike’s father. So, one day she came to my room and I closed the door. My mother was not home. I was so happy. I locked my door shut and we started as we used to do – non-coital romance and the private parts were completely out of bounce. This time it went further and I was very successful in getting Nike out of the tight girdle she was wearing that day. Immediately after that, her panties gradually came off. She said nothing and raised no objection! Once the panties came off, was the most beautiful display of a woman’s body I have never seen before in my life. She had these beautiful thighs and in between them was the display of paradise I was about to explore. Oh my goodness! I was so nervous, I was panting like a dog. I was so scared. Adenike had closed her eyes in a romantic way, expecting me to do something. She left me alone to wonder in a territory I had never explored before. Every effort I made was unsuccessful. I did not know what I was doing. After many trials and Nike keep screaming I had to stop because I did not have a clue what to do. This was a very embarrassing moment for me. I had been nicknamed "Professor" by my peers, and I was unable to enter my girl friend’s jewelry box. I did not know where the door was. I was searching for it. I was going straight and it was not working. I had no knowledge of the female anatomy. Such thing was never discussed in school those days even in our biology class. I could not ask my senior brother sharing the same room with me. I knew he was going to make fun of me. This event was more than an intimate encounter with a woman. It was an event that defined my own masculinity as a man. I have to have victory over this issue; otherwise it was about to be the most degrading encounter in my life.

 Very troubled after my initial failure to enter Nike’s jewelry box, I was embarrassed. I know I did not want anybody to do it for me. I have to do it for myself to prove my masculinity. So, I secretly went to ask my cousin who was older than me. My cousin started laughing after I told him what happened. I did not think this was funny. This was a very serious matter! My success over this issue was a display of my own manhood. I wondered if my cousin knew how serious this matter was. I remember that day very well. We were both in the public library studying. Finally, he taught me about the female anatomy using some pictures. He then told me never to go straight because I could end up in the wrong place and cause her a lot of pain. He told me to go down at an angle. At that time, I was very good in mathematics. He told me instead of going at a right angle, I had to go at a wider angle like 120 degrees. I told him I got the message. I was waiting for the next time Nike would come to our house. It was a very embarrassing situation because I was almost a senior in high school and I was a virgin and did not know what in the world I was doing. Some of my friends who knew I was a virgin close to senior year in high school were already making fun of me.

So, I was determined. The next time she came to my house, we started as we did before. This time, I went lower. Between the darkness of the forest, the shrubs of hair, and the delicate folds, I got lost. Nike said nothing. She just closed her eyes until we both felt a little tear. She then asked me to stop. She felt a little burning pain. That time, I knew I found the right entrance. It felt as if there was a heavy door blocking the entrance. I was successful in pushing the door, just a little. Next time I was going to completely push the door out of the way. I could not wait for Adenike to come back so I could complete the job. On my third trial, I was so anxious. I headed for the right door at an angle of 120 degrees as my cousin instructed me. If I did not know anything I knew the difference between angle 90 that goes straight and angle 120 degrees that goes lower. This time I was going to be more forceful. I had to push this door out of the way. Slowly, I started and finally push, and push, and push, the entrance was so tight like a rubber band. I kept pushing till I was inside the jewelry box. At this point Adenike started crying. There was blood all over my bed and my white underwear was soaked in blood. I knew I did not have any razor blade in my pant. What happened? I did not know. I was scared when I saw all that blood.

"Nike, are you on your period?" I asked nervously.

"No, Yinka!" She responded, "I ended my period a couple of days ago!"

"You must have started another one," I said ignorantly.

"No, Yinka, I’m on a monthly cycle, it doesn’t work like that," she said while she kept crying.

"Oh poor thing," I said, while she kept crying.

I felt sorry for her and loved her at the same time. I felt better about myself because I had just displayed my masculinity. I scored a touchdown.

"So, Nike, where is this blood coming from?" I asked.

"I don’t know!" she snapped and just kept crying.

I saw a little piece of flesh dripping from the side and dangling from her inner labia submerged in blood. Quickly, I started to clean her up, trying to stop the bleeding. Finally the bleeding stopped. I did not have a clue I just broke her hymen. It was so tough. I had to change and clean my white bed sheet before my mother could discover what had happened. I knew I would be in great trouble if my mother found out what I had done.

However, this incident signaled something very crucial to me, and I did not take note. The way Adenike bled after her hymen was broken was an indication she might have some coagulation disorder or bleeding diathesis at that time. Because, when she had a miscarriage a couple of years later, Adenike almost bled to death. She told me they had to rush her from a Maternity Clinic to Lagos Island Maternity for emergency blood transfusion. If I were able to correlate events, I would have warned her, or the physicians taking care of her before I left. Within me it just did not click something was wrong.

Nothing happened between us for a while. I was hoping Adenike would heal and we can really start making love that time. After all, I was the one who broke her cherry! Wow! Cheers! I was so proud of myself. It was like a trophy for me. I was so elated. I felt like a real man, then. Walking around feeling good about myself! For the time being neither Nike’s parents, nor my parents knew what we had done. We were going to keep that a secret between us. I remembered my mother warned me if I made any woman pregnant, she would cut all my shirts into little pieces and make diapers for the baby. I knew my mother was not bluffing; she was serious. I learned to behave myself, just a little. Within me was the raging male hormone like a wild fire, and the curiosity of a teenager boy in a candy store, or a flower garden. My Adenike was the symbol of the greatest beauty I have ever known. She was such a wonderful and attractive young lady. I was madly in love with her. Our brains must have fried together. I was ready for the next step.

 The Power of True Love

I believe I was a senior in the high school when I actually made my glorious entrance into Adenike with great joy and excitement. The experience was so good we were about to devour each other. She responded so well to me. Intimacy had sealed our romantic relationship for life. I did not know how far this relationship went until something happened one day in our house in Lagos. It was a shocking mystery.

Adenike displayed the weight of her love for me one day. It shocked and even scared me. When she was a senior in the high school, she came to our house and was staying in my room. I was hiding her as usual. Many times I would hide Nike in our house and her father would not know. I was saying to myself. He could get mad at me all he wanted. I got his daughter in my hands and in my heart. I had the feeling her mother and my mother knew. Because Adenike’s mother was telling her husband he should not prevent his daughter from having a boyfriend. Secretly, I believed Adenike’s mother was on my side. The two mothers kept quiet. On the last day Adenike was supposed to go back to school, something happened I was unable to explain. In the height of amorous and romantic love, with the power of unexplainable human passion that I have never experienced in any woman in my life, Adenike shocked me. She looked into my eyes, grabbed and wrapped both her arms around my neck. She started to weep and shaking uncontrollably. Her body trembling as I placed my hands on her hips holding her closer to me. She said with teary voice, "I don’t want to go back to school! I just want to stay with you." She continued weeping. Oh boy! This time, I knew for real, I was in big trouble. Adenike’s father believed she had gone back to school, not knowing she was still hiding in our house.

After I was able to break her tight grip around my neck, I comforted her. I was wondering, if she was trying to get me killed. If her father found out she was hiding in our house instead of being in school, he would bring a machete to our house looking for me. Finally, I placed Nike on the bed and I asked her to relax for a while. The time was around 5 p.m. She was supposed to be back on the high school campus at 6 pm. The campus was about 20 miles away. I had to think very fast because time was running out. I knew I could not let her stay in my house another day. The high school would record she did not show up for the first day of school. If her father found out, I was toasted! While Adenike was still lying on my bed displaying her pretty self with her beautiful eyes wet with tears, I ran into my mother’s room down the hall. I told her I had an emergency. My mother saw great fear written all over my face. I wanted her to help me talk to Nike. I told my mother, Adenike said she did not want to go back to school. She wanted to stay with me. Knowing the delicate situation in our hands, my mother sprang to action.

Nicely, my mother came to my room and took Adenike to her room. She sat her down and started talking to her. I knew my mother loved for Nike to be my wife. But, we had a delicate situation in our hands if she did not go back to school. I was waiting in my room and praying Adenike would change her mind and go back to school. If she stayed in our house, it would not only be a scandal, it would ignite a bad family fight! After about two hours, my mother talked to her as she kept on weeping. She finally agreed to go back to school. Thanks to God! Quickly, I called my friend Akinola who was my closest friend living down the street. That evening we chartered a taxicab that took Adenike back to school in a hurry. It was a very narrow escape from real trouble with Nike’s father. After she arrived at school, we came back home. I was greatly relieved. Good Heavens! Thank God!

Just about two years we started intimacy, Adenike got pregnant! Hell broke loose on all fronts, when her father found out! Adenike’s father was livid! In our mega church at Aroloya, the news spread like wild fire. I was identified by some members as a bad teenager. The story being told was, "Mr. Vidal’s son made Mr. Idowu’s daughter pregnant!" Oh boy! What a scandal in our Christian community! I had the feeling her father was probably chasing me around with a machete hidden somewhere in his pants. There was no doubt; I was terrified of him. I thought he was going to kill me for making his daughter pregnant. I pretended it was an accident. Within me, I knew it was intentional. I could see great anger rising from his face each time he saw me in the church and at the choir practice! At that time, my father was sick. He died in 1970 while Nike was still pregnant. Perhaps somebody told him. He never said a thing to me about it. I remember, Nike could not come to my father’s funeral because she was big and about to pop!

While Nike’s father was fuming with anger, and was very angry me, I was secretly declaring victory! I was rejoicing. To myself I was saying, Nike’s father could not give my wife to another man, even if he wanted to. Once she became pregnant according to the tradition, she became my legal wife. In 1971, Adenike gave birth to a bouncing baby boy nine pounds! I named him "Kingsley Babajide Vidal." I remember how excited I was when I went to visit Adenike at the Lagos Island Maternity Hospital. I tried to touch the baby in the crib, she screamed as if I had touched her sore arm, or something. When I saw the baby boy, he looked just like me. I was so elated. I knew that was going to be another blow to Nike’s father. My son did not look like Adenike’s father. He looked like me! I felt I just scored another point. I was rejoicing within me because it appeared I was wining the war, little did I know, the real battle had not even started. I felt sorry for myself afterwards.

I was still looking at the baby in the little crib when Nike said, "Yinka, I hate the idea this boy looked just like you!"

I did not know whether she was serious or not.

"What do you mean Nike?" I asked. I wanted to believe she was kidding.

"I hate those fat lips! They looked like yours! I wished he took my lips!" she answered.

"Nike, you used to enjoy kissing them," I said teasing her.

"I hate those fat lips on my son," she repeated.

I said nothing and giggled to myself. I did not feel insulted, perhaps I should have been. The little boy just looked like a carbon copy of me in everyway, it was undeniable. This added to my inner joy! "Adenike’s father cannot do anything bad to me now," I was saying to myself.

I left Nigeria for the U.S. in 1972

In 1972, Adenike and I had a court wedding. My mother was there, a few of my friends and a couple of her relatives came. Adenike’s parents refused to attend our wedding. Her parents’ absence at our wedding did not bother me at all. I did not even notice until somebody told me after it was all over. At that time, I knew I had Adenike legally to myself. Nobody could take her away from me!

My son was about six months before I left Nigeria for the U.S. Shortly before I left, a story came from Adenike’s house where she was staying with her parents. Evidently, Adenike’s father sat my little boy on his lap playing with him. The boy had no diaper on. While playing with my son, the boy just pee all over his pants. Adenike’s mother saw what happened and started laughing at Nike’s father. The way the story came to us in Lagos from Abule-Ijesa was that, my son got even with Adenike’s father by peeing on him because of the way he had treated me. Adenike’s father took the joke well. I was told he even laughed about the whole thing.

In March 1972, I left Nigeria on a student visa, on Pan American Flight from Lagos direct to New York about 15 hours flight. At the airport Adenike was sitting next to me at the departure hall. She was becoming very upset and agitated that I was leaving her for the first time. At a moment, I was carrying my son, Jide in my hand. He started to drool all over me. So, I placed him on the floor. As I placed him on the floor, he looked back at me, and he smiled. Then he kept playing with his toys. It was as if he was delivering a message to me. That was the last time I would see him.

I did not know then, I was told later that, when I left, Adenike must have had an emotional break down. We had never been separated before. This was the first time all this years we had been together that we were separated by distance across the sea. My plan was for Nike to join me in a couple of months. But the way things turned out, she was only able to join me in December 1972. Being on student visa, it was not possible for her to travel with me. At that time, my brother who graduated from UCLA paid for my school fees and for my flight ticket. Just to set the record straight. A couple of months after arrival in the U.S, I won two scholarships; one from Nigeria and the second from the U.S. I used both scholarships! In the end, I ended up using three scholarships including the one for my graduate studies.

This reminded me of the incident that happened when Nike was going back to high school. She did not want to go. She wanted to stay with me. I was a little angry with Adenike that evening. She could have started a big fight with my family and hers if her father knew she was hiding in our house. In hindsight today, I can tell, Adenike was madly in love with me. She could not dare to be separated from me. Thinking about the same event today after her passing, I just wondered how lucky I was to have had a woman who loved me so much. She was ready to throw everything away, just to be with me! That was why I was weeping for five days during and after her funeral. I felt I had cheated her out of love by walking away from her and not being there at the time she needed me most when she was sick. I could not believe how lucky I was to have such a beautiful woman like Adenike loved me so much. How many men on this earth can boast being loved by such an attractive woman like Adenike? I don’t know if ever I will be able for forgive myself. I just felt so bad and so guilty at her funeral. Perhaps, I could have done something differently. Her anger against me was justified! She was madly in love!

Many events happened that were very devastating to our relationship and I won’t discuss all in this tribute to her. However there were certain things worth mentioning. In addition to her emotional break down after I left, Nigeria for the U.S. in 1972. Adenike was also pregnant. She had a miscarriage. The miscarriage was blamed on her emotional state of mind because of my absence. She was said to be bleeding and she almost died. When I spoke to her on the telephone in Lagos before she joined me in December 1972, I asked her what was going on. She told he she was unhappy because I had left her alone by herself and I went to the U.S. I tried to comfort her and started working on her visa so she could join me as soon as possible. In that conversation she kept saying, "I missed you! I missed you!" The next bad thing that happened was, Jide our son about ten months old, caught meningitis. He died about a few months after I left Nigeria. Within those two years, Adenike and myself lost two children.

There was a mystery to the series of events that happened to us from the time I left Nigeria and the time she came to join me. Only God can explain that mystery. Some of those events happen everyday in life. But the order in which they happened and the timing destroyed her womb. It became a giant blow to our relationship and the relationship never recovered from the assault of those events.

For five years while I was in undergraduate, and graduate school, we struggled, and struggled with the relationship and the consequences of what had happened. At one moment I cried to God. "Why did you do this to me, Lord? What have I done wrong? My beautiful tree with beautiful flowers and fruits has been destroyed? Why me Lord? I have been serving you all my life!" I wept, and wept and wept for a long time. One day God answered me and said, "If not you, who else, so that my glory will shine through you!"

When I received that divine message, I believed I had lost my mind. I believed it was my human spirit speaking back to me. Later, I found out, it was the resounding Voice of God speaking directly to me. At that time, I did not have a clue what the statement meant.

I felt so guilty leaving Adenike at home for about nine months in Lagos. It was her accusation against me! This was the guilt I carried with me for many years. And I had to struggle within myself. How could I have left a woman who loved me so much alone by herself? For this, I’m profoundly very sorry! If I did not leave her by herself especially in the atmosphere of her father’s objection to our relationship, perhaps the outcome could have been different. Only God knows! Please forgive me dearest!

Why Adenike’s Father Objected to Our Relationship?

The reason for Adenike’s father objection to our relationship had less to do with me; and more to do with the old feud against my family in Lagos. My family members were the early aristocratic settlers in Lagos. Nike’s family members (The Ijebus) were the late settlers. The early settlers were the original ones who developed Lagos and turned it into a big commercial center, and metropolitan city. Many of the early settlers married the original settlers. My father’s family was one of the early settlers who married my mother who came from the dynasty of the Oba of Lagos – King Ologunkutere – Oba Ologun Agara. Many of the early settlers in Lagos including the original inhabitants were well educated because of the influence of colonialism. My uncle Pro. Dr. Ajose was one of those physicians trained in Great Britain in the 1940s. He was the first Vice Chancellor of the University of Ife. On my mother’s side were about eight physician relatives because Lagos was the center of education. It was also the center of commercial activities in Nigeria. On my father’s side was my grandfather who was a merchant. My grandfather Emmanuel Vidal was one of the richest merchants in Nigeria during the 1940. He was involved in importing goods from Britain and selling them in Lagos. He used to have a very large store selling goods from Great Britain. He was so rich he built more than 10 houses in Lagos and rented some of them out to people. He was included as one of the aristocrats in Lagos during that time. According to the story told by my grandmother, when my mother and father got married, the Nigerian Police Band came to play at their wedding reception.

When the new settlers arrived in Lagos from the countrysides, including the Ijebus, Araokes, Ibos, and some others from interior of Nigeria, they were not readily welcomed by the early settlers and the original inhabitants in Lagos. Sadly, many of them were not given government jobs because they were not well-educated. Many of them started as peti-peti-traders (small traders). Later many of them like Nike’s mother grew from being small traders to distributors and were very successful. Ijebus were known in Lagos to be very successful traders including the Ara-Okes and even the Ibos from the Eastern part of Nigeria. Many of the men who could not get jobs ended up in the military. After the World War was over, since Nigeria fought on the side of the British, many of the discharged soldiers were given top government jobs to compensate them for their military service. Adenike’s father was one of those very lucky returned soldiers. Now, we understand the reason for the military academy-like atmosphere in his house.

Sadly, competition broke out between the new arrivals in Lagos regarding which group was going to be more successful and prosperous in trading. This was the beginning of the "Tani gaju laba syndrome in Lagos" - - - who is more successful. It appeared as though from the new arrivals, the Ijebus were one of the most successful traders in Lagos. However, the new settlers had to rent houses from the original settlers and the early settlers who already had many houses already built in Lagos mainland. There was therefore bad blood between the new arrivals and the early settlers in Lagos because the new arrivals were charged higher rents. They were never allowed to take part in many of the traditional rituals in Lagos only reserved for the early settlers. The late arrivals could not even take part in the politics going on in Lagos government. In all the chiefs in Lagos, (chieftaincy positions) not a single one of them came from the interior. So, the early settlers not only manipulated and monopolized the politics, they also controlled jobs within the government. Nepotism was the rule of the day in Lagos at that time. The new arrivals were also looked down upon by the early settlers in Lagos. After the new arrivals became more successful, they started building their own houses away from Lagos Island and into the suburbs. At that time the Old Lagosians (early and original settlers) would not allow the new arrivals to buy lands. There was a song they used to sing then.

"Baba wa loni le!

To ba fe joba lo si ile baba re." (Meaning, our father is the owner of this land. If you want to be a king, go to your father’s land).

How should the new settlers like the Ijebus feel about such insult?

My parents being part of the families of the Old Lagosians, while Adenike’s parents were part of the new arrivals in Lagos, there was bad blood. I remembered the statement that came from Adenike’s relatives that they did not like my family. Nike’s father would rather prefer that Adenike had married an Ijebu man, not from the group that was considered the old enemy. Adenike’s father knew my father. They were in the same church choir. My father was an optician. Adenike went with her father to my father’s office for glasses. She told me that my father predicted that his son (Yinka) would marry his daughter. Neither my father, nor Nike’s father had an idea that I was already secretly dating Adenike at that time. Adenike told me that when she heard my father’s prediction, she just laughed to herself.

The interesting thing about this issue of Adenike’s father’s objection to the relationship reminded me of the way we used to do things in Nigeria. We love to inherit wars between families. If your father had a fight with my father, I cannot be friend with you. This is part of the down side of the Nigerian culture. Even though Adenike’s father and my father were never enemies, but the old feud between the new settlers and the original settlers was probably still aggravating Adenike’s father. He was unable to bury the old hatchet. This was the major reason why he objected to my relationship with his daughter, even though we were both from the same ethnic Yoruba group in Nigeria. It was like he hated the idea that his own daughter was sleeping with the enemy. We were the enemy, the old arrogant and aristocratic Lagosians. Here is the downside of elitism arrogance on both sides, and the unhealthy economic warefare within ethnic groups.

My position about the whole issue is to warn people never to inherit anger, hate of feud between friends, families or ethnic groups. You never know what somebody is going to become in life. Like Ogunde, one of the giant of concert entertainer of Nigeria in the 1960 and 1970s, he said, "If your wife runs away and marries somebody else, don’t go commit suicide. Your husband may abandon you, don’t go commit suicide! There are many fishes in the ocean, and there are many stars in Heaven. The same wife that walks away from you today, may come back and hold your house together in the future."

I agree with the Ijebus, the early settlers in Lagos should never have treated them so harshly. The early settlers should have treated the new settlers better and with respect. Perhaps the most educated Nigeria aristocrats should never have been looking down on others less educated. This was one of the major reasons why Adenike’s father was so adamant that all his children must receive college education. He knew what he had to struggle with before going into the Nigeria military.

 What has all this nonsense got to do with Adenike and I falling in love? Nothing! Yet, we suffered the consequences of this rivalry. I wished we could have grown wings and just fly away from all these craziness! Both Adenike and I became victims of inter-ethnic feud, rivalries, and problems we did not create.

Don’t marry an Ijebu! Go marry an Egba! Don’t marry Itsekiri! Go marry an Hausa! What difference does it make when you are in love with somebody for God’s sake?

Brief History

My grandmother came from the Ologunkutere dynasty of the King (Oba) of Lagos. Her name is Princess Adeyemi Thomas (Nee Afodu). My uncle Prof. Ajose is from the same dynasty of the Ologunkutere ruling family line. Prof. Ajose contested for the throne of Lagos in 1964 when he was still the Vice Chancellor of the University of Ife (now the Obafemi Awolowo University in Ife). He came to our house in Lagos seeking suggestions from my grandmother. Prof. Ajose called me grandmother, "Auntie." He respected my grandmother immensely. My grandmother was the historian behind him during his contest for the throne of Lagos. He was unsuccessful. I was wondering if our family line of the Ologunkutere would ever ascend the throne of Lagos again. Today, I give glory to God. Our Ologunkutere family line has again ascended the throne of Lagos. About ten years ago, Oba (King) Rilwan Babatude Akiolu of Lagos ascended the throne as the Oba (King) of Lagos from our family dynasty. He is from the Oba Ologunkutere dynasty (1750-1775) of my grandmother. On Sunday 26^th of May, 2013, Oba Rilwan Akiolu celebrated ten years since he ascended the throne of Lagos.

(Relatives and children in the U.S. have urged and bothered me about this family history so children can know about their Nigerian ancestors. Telling them our family line is presently on the throne of Lagos is perhaps not enough. I have contacted my senior brother at home, Prof Olatunji Vidal. I’m working on the family history to be released before the end of this year 2013).

This is the reason why I refer to Adenike as my princess. Once she marries a prince, she herself becomes a princess.

The Triumph of Love

Nike is a Great Lover!

I’m her first love and she was my first love. The love between us was so intense. Some people even called it a pathological love. She not only taught me how to kiss, she taught me the essence of true love. I have never known any love like this! I had other young female friends while I was dating Nike, but in the entire Nigeria, Adenike was the only woman I ever loved. This was a very special love I was unable to share with anybody else. She did not occupy a segment of me; she encased my entire heart. And left no room for anybody else.

Adenike taught me one great lesson about life. If it is true love, it must learn to endure and forgive, otherwise, it is not love at all. People always want to define love as what happens in the physical or what we express through physical encounter with another person. The physical is just an expression to make the flesh feels good. The physical has everything to do with selfishness! True love accepts hurt from another person smeared in the process of forgiveness. Until romantic love rises to the level of non-selfish love, marriages will continue to crash at the height of human selfishness!

Adenike is a Very Attractive Woman

One thing very strange about Adenike was this unfading beauty she had. For many years I had to carry her pictures with me. Even while we were separated, I held on to them. I showed Nike off to many people especially when she first joined me in the U.S. Many of my friends were asking why was her so attractive. Even some of the American were saying they did not know an African woman could be this attractive. Everywhere we went, people were always looking at her and giving her compliments. I was her lucky husband.

Adenike is a Giver

Adenike is the type that would give you a shirt off her back. When we were dating she would always give me things especially provisions of canned milk, bread, butter, Ovaltine and all those other good stuff. I gave Nike money and gifts too. But, she gave me more gifts than I have ever given to her while we were dating. Even when we were separated, Nike would still give my mother presents.

When we went back to Nigeria in 1977, Adenike bought about 40 woman handbags in her hand. When she got home, she gave all of them away to people.

I just can’t figure out why life was so unkind and so, so cruel to her!

Adenike is a Very Strong Willed Person

She is a very nice person; many people loved her. When you make her angry, just get out of her way. I remember one time I wanted to sneak out of the house while we were living on the campus at W.I.U on marriage student housing at Lamoine Village. I wanted to go to the library and she did not want me to leave. As soon as she got into the bathroom taking a shower, I took my car keys and headed for the door. As soon at Nike heard the door, she came out of the bathroom completely naked and stood in front of the apartment. I did not remember if anybody saw her because it was in a secluded area facing the woods, she shouted, "Yinka, come back inside, you’re not going anywhere!" I was so embarrassed, I just ran back inside, covering her naked body with my jacket. "How could you do such a thing?" I asked. She started laughing and asked, "Why’re you trying to sneak out of the house?"

One day I was playing Ebenezer Obey’s record saying,

"Ti o ba ni iyawo kan ti o gbo tie, to tun sesekuse, to fe ko e sile.

"Kolo so fun pe, Iyawo to lowun o se mo,

"Bi ose mo ko ma a lo!"

I was enjoying this Ebenezer Obey’s record in the living room when Adenike suddenly ran out of the bedroom in anger. She picked up my stereo box and was about to throw it out the door. I was able to catch the stereo box from her hands, but I was not so lucky with the record. The record went out flying through the window. She ran outside and stamped on the record crushing it into pieces.

Adenike came back into the house very furious, I didn’t have an idea the record was provoking her anger. "Yinka, if you keep playing that type of a record in this house, there will be no peace between us," she said.

For the sake of people who do not understand Yoruba language, the record was talking about a husband getting another wife because he was having problem with his first wife. He should therefore let the first wife go and find another one. She would then know the value of a real good husband.

"Okay, I’m sorry!" I said. "I didn’t know the record bothered you!"

"I just don’t ever want to hear that record in this house anymore, otherwise there is going to be a fight," she commented. "I hope you hear me well, Yinka!"

"Nike, I thought you brought this record from Nigeria yourself," I said.

"Yes, I did!" she responded. "But, I never want to hear you play the record, ever again in this house!"

"Excuse me! I’m sorry," I said jokingly.

"Yinka, ma a squeeze e pa, if you ever play that record again!" she responded still very furious.

How could I play the record again? It was damaged and smashed in the mud beyond repair. Although, I was surprised and shocked by Adenike’s response to that record at the time the incident happened, but she was hurting. I did not have an idea the weight of her hurt at that time. She was struggling to be pregnant. She was unable to get pregnant, and I was playing a record about a husband replacing his problem wife. She was fuming! She had the right to be upset with me because I was totally very insensitive to her emotional struggle and pain. Those unusual responses as they might have been so weird were her expression of love to me. How many wives want to be replaced by another woman, especially with the kind of trouble she had at that time? I believe I was young and a little stupid. I should not have been playing such record in the house. Perhaps she was thinking I was directing the message in the record to her. This is a very common thing at home. When a person is angry at another person, the angry person may start singing songs to provoke the other person. She was probably thinking I was provoking her with the song. So she tore up the record. Her reaction was therefore well deserved and justified. I was just beginning to learn about women’s sore spots.

I knew the love between Adenike and I was so powerful and intense, it was unable to endure human failures and even human imperfections on both sides. However things could have gotten better if relatives did not step in between us.

Personal Crises: Two People Lost in the Storms

Regardless to what happened between Adenike and I, she still remained my loving wife! This was what we promised each other years ago. For five years between 1972 and 1977 Adenike was unable to conceive. She was very upset about this. I can understand today her frustration over her own personal failures. Two children between us were dead. She was determined to have more children for us. However things were not working out. Her body was not responding. In 1977 summer, she had gotten so emotional about this child-bearing business. I registered her in W.I.U. After a couple of semesters, she told me she was uninterested in studying anything. She could not concentrate. The childbearing issue was weighing down her heart. I believe I had to take her back home before she deteriorated into more emotional crisis. Since I took her out of Nigeria, I believe it was my responsibility to take her back home. This I knew I owed to her and her family.

When we arrived in Nigeria in 1977, we had one big fight when Adenike saw me with another woman. We had agreed that another woman would bear children for us. We were also going to do it the natural way. That was how it was done those days. But, the reality of the process was too painful for her. After the fight, our parents separated us. I tried to get back to Adenike. She would not come back. I sent her messages. She would not return my call. At that time I was stationed at the University of Lagos College of Medicine, Department of Pharmacology. I was also posted in the Cardiology Department under Pro. Dr. Babatunde Okuwobi and Dr. Fadayomi by my cousin Prof. Dr. Olumide. I was hoping Adenike would come and visit me, she would not come. When I sent a message to her father through my mother that I wanted my Adenike back, he refused. I was told to come and rub my mouth against the floor in humiliation to get my wife back. Can you imagine such a thing in this country? That, a man cannot see his wife because the wife’s family has power to prevent you from seeing her because you both got into a fight. So, I started begging to get my wife back and the answer was, "No!" This time, I believe Adenike’s father was winning. They were going to punish me real good this time. I was thinking he would take my wife and give her to another man. That was not a comfortable feeling at all. I could not stand that idea. I wrote letters to Nike begging to talk to her. She would not respond. In those letters, I begged and begged her to come and talk to me. She refused. So, I went to her father’s senior sister begging to get my wife back. She asked me to go back to Adenike and talk to her if she was willing to come back. How could I talk to Nike while her father was blocking me? I was so afraid her father so much. I did not have the audacity to step into their house for fear of being beaten to death. I was not taking any chances. I knew her father was pissed off at me!

So, I started to live a very miserable life without Adenike. I was hurting so badly! I was weeping every night looking for a way to just speak to her. One of my older brothers said to me in anger over this Adenike’s issue. I was sitting in our house in Lagos weeping over Adenike. My brother said, "Yinka, your parents sent you to college to be educated and earned all these degrees. Because of Adenike’s panties, you’re going to throw everything away. Is it worth it?" I never forget that statement made by my brother in his angry response to me weeping over Adenike. In the same living room, my mother just looked at me and smiled. I believed she was feeling sorry for me.

One day, one of the residents at the hospital gave me his car to drive for the day. I spent my entire day on the medical campus till midnight sometimes. I did not have anywhere to go. I drove the car straight to Abule-Ijesha near Lagos where Adenike was staying with her parents. I parked the car, and sent one of their housemaids to call her for me. I could not enter the house for obvious reasons. My father in-law had seized my wife and I was not ready to rub my face to the ground in humiliation. I was thinking what happened if I lied on the floor, rubbed my face to the ground, and after the humiliation, they still refused to give my wife, Adenike back to me. Then what would I do? I still have some pride left you know! After a while the young lady came out and said Adenike refused to come out. I sent her back telling her to please come out and just talk to me. Then the lady brought back a scary message to me. She said Adenike shouted at her, got up and went to report me to her father that I was outside. As soon as she gave me that message, I jumped in the car trying to get away as fast as I could. If I were walking, I would be running so fast my legs would be touching the back of my neck.

In Nigeria, if you receive a message your father is coming in your direction and he is angry, you know he is coming with a big stick to hit you upside the head. This situation was even worse. It was my angry father-in-law coming towards, me. I knew he was going to beat the daylight out of me if he was able to catch me. The same situation happened to a cousin of mine, when his father in-law beat the daylight out of him because he got in a fight with his wife. My cousin came to our house to see my mother with bruises all over his face. I already learned from that incident. Fathers-in-law can be very scary sometimes, especially in Nigeria. When your father-in-law beat you up, you can’t do anything, or punch back, or even protect yourself. You have to accept the punishment and the humiliation with it. I was not going to allow such to happen to me. And I was not going to subject myself to that humiliation. Besides, I was getting ready to travel. What happened if he sent some people to come and beat me up? I was no fool, when I heard I was reported to Adenike’s father, I took off. I stepped on the car gas, I almost ran over somebody. I was going to tell Adenike I was leaving the country and wanted to make up with her so she would come back to me. I was still madly in love with her. Oh my dear Adenike! I could not help myself. With broken heart, I left Nigeria alone in 1978 the next morning, and headed for the U.S. I carried a piece of Adenike with me in my soul.

I knew if not because of Adenike’s parents, I would have been able to talk to her. How did I find this out, was about what happened after Nike realized I had left the country. I was told she went to the medical campus at Idi-Araba at the hospital looking for me. She also went to our house in Lagos looking for me. It was then they told her I already left for the U.S.

About a year later Adenike arrived in the U.S. for a visit. She visited with me. We were still legally married. We tried to rekindle our romantic relationship, some friends even helped us, but it did not work. I had asked her to stay in the U.S. so we could work things out. She said she was going back home to help her mother’s business. She stayed with me in my apartment for a while, and finally went back to Nigeria. A couple of times, she burst into tears. I did not have a clue why she was weeping. Evidently, she was thinking about the old times we shared together. A couple of years later, she came back to the U.S. and we kept talking throughout the years. Every year on December 25, I would call her and wish her happy birthday. From time to time she would call me. We would talk. A couple of times she was on the phone talking to me and she was crying. What could I do? The last time I saw her, we wanted to make peace with each other. We met and we talked. I looked at her eyes and my heart was so broken, I saw the mark on her lip where I punched her many years before when we got into a fight. Inside I was weeping for her. I looked into those beautiful brown eyes, and she started to weep. Our time of separation had done so much damage to the romantic love between us that was badly injured. However, the caring was still there. I put my arms around her and she continued weeping. Oh God, each time I remember those painful moments with her, it hurt like hell! No matter how we lie to ourselves, how can you just stop loving somebody you used to care so much for? It’s impossible!

Misinformation Destroys Relationship

One day Adenike called me and said, "Yinka, you know you’re a bad person."

I responded and said, "Excuse me. Nike, what did you mean by that?"

"All you my enemies, God will deal with you," she said.

"Adenike, I’m not your enemy!" I responded. I did not get angry with her.

When I got off the phone, I was so upset. I decided not to fire back at her. I knew she was hurting and I had no idea why she called me to say such a thing. When I put all the events together, I think I may have a better idea why she said such a thing.

In 1977 December, when Adenike and I got into a fight in Nigeria, our family separated us. My mother told me she was told by Nike’s parents that any achievements I made in life was because of Adenike’s star that was shining so brilliantly. They told my mother that I had no star; that my star was dead. Without Nike’s star, I could not do anything in life. Later, the message got worse. The story was told that I was not only using Adenike’s star to thrive in life, I was said to have stolen her anointing. So, Nike started crying. She came to me while we were able to talk in Lagos that, I was a bad person because I had stolen her anointing. I strongly believed a spiritualist gave Adenike’s parents false spiritual information about me. This was what somebody told her parents, perhaps as a vision, or something, only God knows. From that time, when Adenike attempted something, and it did not work, she would blame it on me. She believed I was placing obstacles on her way by stealing her anointing and I would not return it to her. That was why she called me her enemy. What a misguided ideology and spiritual abuse by the person who told them this big lie!

My mother said she was scared because she was one of those people who believed Nike’s family was going to do me in. My mother vehemently objected to me leaving Nike. In 1978 she wanted me to leave Nigeria as quickly as possible. She told me she was thinking that Adenike’s parents were going to hit me with juju or voodoo. My mother said she was scared for me. When my mother told me the story, I just laughed it off.

With the new generation of Christians, we only, and only believe in the Holy Spirit, and nothing else. Some of our parents as religious as they were in Christianity, still mixed Christianity with mysticism. Our generation rejected the mixing of spirit powers. Adenike knew I had been on top of the mountain in Lagos about twice. Each time I stayed there for about three days fasting and praying before I left Nigeria in 1972. She knew I was anointed with the power of the Holy Spirit. She knew I have angelic fighting forces for spiritual defenses. I was anointed by God, not by man to serve his purpose. How could I have stolen somebody’s anointing? The Lord is the one who distributes the anointing for special assignments. Can I twist God’s hand, so as to steal Adenike’s anointing?

John answered and said, "A man can receive nothing, except it be given him from Heaven" (St. John 3:27).

I believe this statement by John the Baptist should settle the argument.

As much as I adore, love and embrace my wife Adenike, that false information given to her about me did not help her. It added to our problems. So much when we got in a fight Nike would say, "Yinka, I know you don’t love me?"

The statement was like driving a knife through somebody’s heart.

"You say what?" I responded.

"You only love me because of my money," she responded.

"How much is in your bank account Nike?" I asked.

"I mean my parents have money."

"Okay Nike, let’s compare notes."

"What?" she asked.

"How many houses your parents have in Lagos?" I asked.

"None, but they have houses in the suburbs of Lagos."

"My grandfather had 10 houses in Lagos in 1940s, my grandmother has three houses, my father has a house, my grandfather on mother’s side has one big house. With other close relatives, we have a total of 15 houses in Lagos main land, and within my family relatives we have eight physicians and one Ph.D." I responded.

"Yes, my parents have two houses at abule-Ijesha and the suburbs.

"Why do you think I married you because of your money? What money do you have? Did you pay for my school fees?"

"How about the money you took from me while I was working at the Onion factory?" she asked.

"So, all you want to do in this house is eat, Nike! You don’t want to contribute to anything in this house."

"Yinka, I should not be contributing anything. If you are old enough to marry and sleep with a woman, you should be able to take care of everything by yourself," she said sounding like a typical Nigerian woman. She started laughing.

One time Nike called home to tell her parents that I was taking money from her salary for house expenses. Her parents reported me to my mother that I should stop taking money from my wife from her paycheck. I was a student on scholarship. I was also working part-time. The person who resolved the disagreement was Adenike’s father’s sister Mrs. Adenubi. She told Nike’s father that husband and wife must share financial responsibilities in the house in the U.S for things to work compared to the old Nigeria mentality when a man is supposed to take care of everything. Mrs. Adenubi was the one who helped me out from this disagreement.

I did not have an idea Adenike believe the misinformation she was given. I was thinking the conversation above was just occasional conversation between married couples to either annoy each other, tease each other, or entertain each other. I did not take the conversation seriously until I realized it had shaped Adenike’s mind and perception about me.

No matter what happened between us, I could never stopped loving Adenike. She was mine from the beginning and she would be forever mine regardless to what anybody says about her. I really don’t care! I have the legal right to reclaim my wife! She will always be mine!

Although Adenike and I were distance apart, we still kept in touch through the telephone. We became good friends. In the past couple of years I did not have frequent conversations with her as I used to have. It was perhaps a little over a year I had talked to her then, I received a divine revelation about Adenike. I did not take the message seriously. However, at that time, the Lord has revealed to me something was happening to my Adenike. Oh! Adenike! Oh! Adenike!

How did I know something was going on with Adenike even when she did not tell me? The Lord revealed certain things to me. Certain mysterious events pointed to Adenike. I did not realize it at that time. This year 2013, I did not call to wish her happy birthday for reason I could not tell myself. Prior to that vision, I started writing a book in January about a woman dying of breast cancer. The book was about how this woman living in Chicago died with dignity in spite of her illness. It is an ebook published in May this year, 2013, called, Finding Peace in the Storms – A Woman’s Journey with Breast Cancer, by Yinka Vidal.

I did not have an idea that the book I just completed was not only a parable to me about Adenike, my wife it was also a foreshadowing of what was actually happening to my dear Adenike at exactly the same time. Oh my God! What a mystery of God’s greatness and wonders!

In early July, 2013, I had a revelatory dream about Adenike. In that dream, Adenike’s soul was crying out to me. She was asking me to call her. Many God’s spiritualists understand that people do communicate soul to soul especially when your souls are tied with that of another person due to relationships or blood relatives. Initially I did not take that dream seriously. However, I planned to call Adenike. The second day, I had another dream about Adenike. This time, she was sitting on a bench. There was another younger man sitting next to her. They were both wearing one of those light colored Nigerian outfits. In that revelatory dream, I said to her, "Nike, what are you doing here?"

"I come to see the doctor! I’m sick," she answered.

After the dream, I knew she was sick. And I knew it was cancer. The Holy Spirit revealed this to me. That day I called her. She then confirmed to me she had cancer. She also explained that she had been told, nothing else they could do for her. In other words, she was telling me, she was terminal. My heart was so broken for her. After I got off the phone what she said reminded me of what her mother told me after she died. Nike’s mother immediately appeared to me in my kitchen. I was washing my hands when I sensed a spirit presence behind me. I turned around, and the spirit of Nike’s mother was standing right before me. She only said one thing, "Take care of my daughter for me." Then she left. I did not have a conversation with her spirit. As soon as that incident happened, I called Adenike. I told her about her mother’s spirit visit to me. She asked me what she said. And I told her exactly what she told me to take care of her daughter. Based on Adenike’s mother’s request, at the moment of her death, she was able to see that Adenike was going to be sick. She was therefore telling me to take care of her. But, at that time, I did not have a clue what she said and for what purpose she gave me that assignment. Today, I figured it out!

After Nike disclosed to me she was sick. I kept calling her and talking to her. I prayed for her as many times I could remember. One day, I had another mysterious dream. In that revelatory dream, Adenike’s father appeared to me. Oh my God! I knew this was not a good sign. He was looking so young and fresh. I knew from that dream he was not a soul from this earthly realm. He was a soul from the divine planet of Heaven. He was sitting at a round table with other people that accompanied him. He appeared to be at a restaurant. He was not eating because I did not see any food on the table. Nike’s father looked at me twice. Initially, I was trying to avoid eye contact with him. Then he turned his head in my direction and made sure I saw him. At that moment our eyes made contact with each other. After I got up from sleep, I knew it was a very critical revelatory dream. Adenike’s father had no machete in his hand and he did not appear to be angry with me. He was just looking seriously as if he was on a special mission. He came to deliver a message so I could communicate Adenike for him. He was therefore announcing his arrival and Adenike’s departure. That was the special mission that brought him down. I believe he was sending me a message so I could communicate with Adenike for him. I was to tell Adenike her time was up. Realizing the urgency of the message, I wanted the Holy Spirit to explain to me the meaning of the dream. In the vision next to Adenike, I saw two words written, "Near Death."

Immediately after these messages, I got on the phone, and called Adenike. She was finding it difficult to speak at that time. However I was still able to speak to her. I did not know why I said this. Perhaps it was by divine instruction. I said to her, "Adenike, your father has arrived." She then asked me what he said. I responded and told her he did not say anything. He was just looking at me. At that moment between Adenike and I, we knew her ride back home to Heaven had arrived. In the company of the angels with her father, he came to take his daughter home with him to Heaven. I spoke to her on Thursday to deliver the final message. On Sunday she went into coma, on Monday morning at 5 a.m. she breathed her last. She went back home to be with the Lord.

Tribute written and fondly remembered by `Yinka Vidal and the family.

Memorialized on Saturday August 17, 2013. She ascended August 5, 2013.

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